You might be asking yourself, what does creating new habits have to do with a kitchen remodel? Let me tell you where the idea for this article came from.

 

From a different perspective, when I looked at this from an interior design point – (which is one of my passions)- I saw something that made a lot of sense to me.

 

2020 came with lots of challenges. That, I think, we can all agree with. We’ve all had lots of decisions to make, with many different reactions, attitudes and ways of thinking. So many different steps to take, in all sizes. And with different repercussions, as well.

 

In my case, I decided to start a few quests, which meant changing a few habits. I have to say, the road has been very interesting – and challenging. I’m still in the battle. I’ve had some falls. But I always get up again with the conviction that I will win and my life will keep getting better every day.

 

Seven years ago, we moved to a new city. We were so lucky to have found a house that checked all our requirements. Easy school access, parks around to take walks or ride our bikes, stores, supermarket, etc. Our neighborhood is from the 90’s, so we inherited several things that needed change or improvement. As time passed by in a blink, we changed a few minor things. We painted walls and some cabinets, but nothing major, radical or difficult. 

 

A few days ago, I stumbled onto some pictures taken in 2019, bringing back memories of when we decided to remodel our kitchen - and change the entire floor on our first level.

 

The kitchen was ok. It was functional, but totally not our style. In one word, it was “meh”. For years we simply accepted how it came and used it. We had a lot of plans in mind, but not the budget to put them in action (limiting belief, by the way). We knew what things, without a doubt, needed to be changed. For example, our tan “sandy like” Corian Countertops with a beautiful alfalfa green stripe running along in the middle. (Seems like that green was “in” around those years and it was a color accent throughout the house). For other things, however, we didn’t have a concrete plan in mind.

 

As I was going through my pictures, I clearly remembered all those hours sitting next to the fireplace, contemplating our kitchen and imagining the changes I wanted to make.

 

At first, we looked at some features that could be saved or repurposed, making them much more usable and practical. We were still attached to the old, to the past, to what we were used to. Other days, we were of the mindset that everything just had to go. 

Finally, we decided to keep the layout, with the appliances as located, since it was practical and functional. We also left the size and location of the kitchen unchanged, as it fit the house, the architecture - and the budget, of course!

 Ok, so let’s explore habits from the perspective I mentioned.

 

But first, here is some definition. Habits are a routine behavior, repeated regularly and tending to be subconscious. They are ways of thinking, believing and feeling, acquired or learned with the repetition of a mental experience. Research shows that 43% of our actions are performed by habits!

 

So, we spend almost half of our day acting subconsciously. Pretty interesting, right?

 

Have you ever questioned your own beliefs or habits? Do you see your life, your “kitchen”, and you get that feeling that you need or want to make changes, but you don’t know how? Or you think it might not be the right moment? Have you ever questioned whether what you learned could be completely different? Or do you have thoughts or habits you would like to change, knowing that your life could be significantly improved? Have you asked yourself if you could ever enjoy that “kitchen” in a different and more satisfactory way? I’m 99.9% sure that all of us have had those questions at a certain point of time.

 

In different stages of our life, we learn or inherit habits that could be hurting us in the long run. We also buy or inherit “houses and things” (habits) that came with their own finishes and functionalities – appropriate perhaps for that time or for whoever lived there before- but not necessarily useful to us in our life or current reality. We’ve been learning and accepting what our family and social environment or community have been teaching us. Basically, we were learning on autopilot and accepting truths or behaviors that are causing conflict in our adult life.

 

Only in rare occasions, we can adapt certain habits and keep going. But sometimes, it’s time to let them go for good. We can create new habits: habits that go with who we are, our personality, the lifestyle we want to have and our own happiness. We came to this world to improve, to grow as people. When it becomes about you, it’s essential that you “decorate” your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual “house” to your taste and preferences. You get to decide how it would make you happier.

 

Generally, when we make room and create a “clean slate”, we can better see all the possibilities and potential for the new space. It even feels like a relief!

 Same case with our mind. Emptying our minds of thoughts and ideas that are outdated and may no longer serve us can be very useful. It allows us to see the great potential we have to redesign our thoughts, beliefs and habits.

 

Creating a new habit or a new belief takes time and effort, similar to remodeling a kitchen. It’s not something that would happen instantly. Some projects might take longer than others- depending on the circumstances- but, they still require some time and diligence.

For now, here are some quick steps and tips to create a new habit. 

 

1. Be Aware and Define. Awareness is crucial. You want to be very aware of what the change needs to be. Define it and write it. Write your limiting thoughts and beliefs about it. By limiting beliefs, I mean ideas or beliefs that are stopping you from starting to change the old habit. Also, write how you feel now, with the current habit you want to change. Then, on a different page, write the new thoughts and ideas that you want to implement – those thoughts and ideas that will support the new habit. Writing about this is a powerful exercise. 

 

2. Project the Future. Define your results. Give it a date. Close your eyes. Observe and imagine yourself with this new habit. Write how you would feel with this new habit. Celebrate in advance. In Japan, they have a tradition of celebrating in advance. Why? Because it takes you to that emotional state of being in the new habit, which will facilitate things to happen.

 

3. Determine the Steps to Take.  Plan and make a map of the steps you will take to install the new habit. Include the tools you will use to achieve this, such as planners, alarms, white boards, etc. It’s ok to be detailed. But be careful with overdoing it. Simplicity is preferable. It will avoid making you feel overwhelmed, which can lead to a loss of motivation.

 

4. Take Action and Enjoy. To put into practice what we planned in the previous steps requires dedication, grit and work from us. It could become a challenging task. For good measure, add some humor and fun. Be patient with yourself and always give it your best. Laugh at yourself, love yourself and don’t criticize yourself. This helps maintain the motivation.

 

5. Be Aware of Resistance. Resistance to change will happen. But this is an indication that change is happening. It’s a good sign. If your body and mind are playing tricks to send you back to the past, embrace the resistance and recognize it. Tell yourself, over and over, that what you are doing is helping you and the resistance is temporary. This resistance is only the mind and body saying, “Wait, something is different. Let’s go back to normal, to what we know.”

 

6. Don’t Give Up. Despite all the strategic planning, sometimes life throws curve balls at us that are not under our control and interfere with our process. Don’t despair. Be patient and keep going. If you fall or fail at some point, get back up, keep going and persist! Persistence is key!

 

7. Get Support. Ask someone you trust, or someone that has been through your process, to support you. It’s proven that humans improve more effectively when we work together, when we get support as needed. We are social beings and learn more from each other than alone. If you need help, go for it. Don’t take on more resistance than you already have. Just make sure you get the right person for you.

 

In a course I took a while ago with Robin Sharma, he mentions a phrase that really stuck with me and made a huge impact:

 

 

When we remodeled our kitchen, it was hard at the beginning. Demolishing cabinets and floors, moving furniture all over, replacing appliances, painting the walls. It was hard work. Luckily, we had the help of an amazing person that supported us all the way with his experience and love. My father-in-law. Everyone had a role. We did it together, one step at a time - and learned a lot in the process. Was it messy in the middle? You bet! We didn’t have a place to prepare our meals, it was dusty and chaos, the house felt cluttered and uncomfortable. We set a little kitchenette upstairs and spent almost a month eating frozen food heated in the microwave. We did a lot of “take out”. But all that sacrifice and hard work were totally worth it! The process was also a lot of fun. It was a great experience working as a team, bringing us all closer together. Even our young son made suggestions and contributions. I enjoyed picking out new colors, cabinets and fixtures. It was awesome seeing the transformation, little by little - the old and outdated replaced by the new.

 

 

Now, I can say with immense happiness that I love coming downstairs to my new kitchen and making myself a cup of tea. I enjoy admiring the fruit of our labor. I take even more pleasure preparing meals and sharing with family and friends. A wonderful change in the end. I also appreciate the results of a few changes in habits I have made. I’m happier, and I spend more time enjoying my days.

 

I sincerely hope that this article will help and inspire you. Even a little. I am excited for you to start that change you may long have waited for and that you look forward to the satisfaction and enjoyment that your new “ kitchen remodel” will bring.

 

Let’s all start this year with new opportunities, our brand-new habits, decor project and a happier life!

 

 Uschi.